The Search for Significance

The Search for Significance

The Search for Significance

February 28, 2008

I am unwilling to share what I wrote in my journal on this day, except to say (with Tim’s permission) that I prayed that Tim’s perception of his deceased earthly father would not cloud his perception of his Heavenly Father. I also prayed that God would help me to not store up a record of wrongs against Tim. My own attempts at this were clouded by some false ideas. You see, in 2008 I believed that if Tim were “saved,” God would not store up a record of wrongs against him, but unfortunately I also believed if he were not “saved,” then upon death, that record of wrongs would effectively erase any good will God had toward Tim. I thought he might cease to exist forever and ever, amen. So, the logical conclusion here is that I was asking God to help me be more loving and forgiving toward Tim than I actually believed God Himself might be.

God knows how to deconstruct misguided, ignorant prayers.

God sees Tim’s father as forgiven and reconciled to Himself, but Tim didn’t know this. Tim needed to see his earthly father through the eyes of his Heavenly Father. In time, God answered this prayer.

Similarly, God sees Tim as forgiven and reconciled to Himself, but I didn’t know this. I needed to see Tim through God’s eyes in order to stop storing up a record of wrongs against him. In time, God answered this prayer, as well.

February 29, 2008

This journal entry was a prayer to God, about half a page, prior to going to a marriage counseling session. I asked God to give Tim and me teachable, honest, open hearts. I wrote a second time the same day, after the session, based on a suggestion by the marriage counselor:

Note to self: Buy Search for Significance by Robert McGee and read Philippians 2.

During the counseling session I told the marriage counselor about something a previous marriage counselor had helped me to understand and admit to myself, that is, I didn’t trust God. I trusted Him for my own salvation, but beyond that, there were many ways I did not trust God. This new marriage counselor recommended a book called Search for Significance, which proved to be a book that God would use (in conjunction with an intense critical reexamination of traditional doctrines on eternal torment and annihilation) to help me discover precisely why I didn’t trust Him.

I wrote a little bit about the book in an old blog post called Change and Fear of Rejection:

The source of the fear of rejection is IGNORANCE about self-worth, which manifests itself in the way we think of (reject) ourselves and the way we treat (reject) one another.  When we become aware of our inherent value in the eyes of God, Whose opinion trumps all others, when we understand and believe that we and each other are “deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by God, and complete in Christ” (Robert S. McGee, Search for Significance), then the result of this TRUTH is that the fear of rejection is invalidated.

Philippians 2 is about demonstrating love through humility and obedience, which may require losing your status or privileges. Once Tim and I found healing in our marriage, we got a crash course in the real-life application of Philippians 2, when we tried to share how we found healing in our marriage with our church friends. But that’s another journal entry / blog for another day.

March 4, 2008

I sifted through page after page of fearful and repetitive prayers written over the course of several days, to find something worth keeping, but the thing worth keeping wasn’t actually written down. The prayers were mainly asking that God would keep me from believing things that were not true AND keep me from not believing things were true. There was so much social tension and many rumors, lies, and truths to sort through from people at NPF and FBCU (two churches in the small town where I lived).

As I poured my heart out to God in prayer, He was beginning to open my eyes, not about whether rumors were true or false, and not about whether someone was guilty or innocent, but that there might be something seriously wrong with this idea of the “authority” of pastors and deacons and elders, that the fruits of the hierarchy were power struggles, hidden agendas, deceit, callous words, hypocrisy, etc. I was told that I would be in spiritual rebellion if I did not submit to the authority God had put me under. It would be a while yet before I would simply walk away from that sham authority with the blessing of God Almighty, Himself.

In addition, I was doing some research and finding evidences of the systematic suppression of information in church history, information which was later deemed heretical. I wasn’t really sure what to do with that. The foundations of my faith were being shaken. As I learned about so-called heretics in church history, I wondered if I were becoming one of them.

Comments
  • Lanny A. Eichert December 27, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Alice, you ought to recognize these three verses from Matthew 7 that I quote to you so often, because you’re not born again saved the Bible way, because you refuse to believe the Bible is infallible. You’re no believer if you can’t trust God’s Holy Book. Sure, you’re a heretic.

    Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

  • Lanny A. Eichert December 27, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    Look, Alice, if Tim’s dad were saved, Tim would have known it long ago by his life and talk, because saved folks are DIFFERENT. A saved life is a transformed life which is centered in God’s perfect literal Holy Bible producing a holy life and an excitement with Jesus Christ and His local churches. You’ve got nothing like that in your description of Tim’s affection toward his dad.

    Conclusion: neither you nor Tim know what being a Christian is all about, so both of you are headed for Hell and the Lake of Fire where you’ll be forever tormented without remedy. Face the fact that you’ve bought into Satan’s lie which he’s used successfully since he hooked Eve with it.

    Jesus means nothing to you but false hopes.

    • Alice Spicer December 27, 2015 at 7:29 pm

      Love you, too, Lanny 🙂

      • Lanny A. Eichert December 27, 2015 at 7:30 pm

        If you would, then believe in infallibility of the Bible.

      • Lanny A. Eichert December 27, 2015 at 7:56 pm

        Alice, your smiley faced comment is deceitful after I told you the truth. That’s you making a deliberate lie as I told you on the subject of trusting God you and Mary did. You’re being a habitual liar as sin begets sin after sin. You’re spiraling down to Hell. If you don’t stop ASAP you will be beyond hope and God will not be able to save you. Is that what you want? the unpardonable sin.

  • Mary Vanderplas December 28, 2015 at 5:03 am

    I like what you say about the incongruity between your prayer to grow in grace toward Tim and your (then) belief concerning the character of God and the scope of God’s forgiving love. I like, too, your comment about needing to see the other through God’s eyes, as forgiven and beloved apart from anything he had done or not done.

    I like what you say about not trusting God reflecting fear of inadequacy, the only remedy for which is coming to see ourselves as forgiven and accepted by God in spite of everything that is wrong with us. Only when we know in the depths of our being that we are loved and accepted just as we are can we be free from fear and hostility for loving relationship with God, others, and ourselves.

    That’s interesting that God showed you the fallacy of claims to authority that are not consonant with God’s agenda of truth-seeking and that seek to dominate others and to suppress whatever does not echo the party line. That there is much of this that goes on in the church is hard to deny. Good for you that you persisted in seeking the truth of God in spite of the opposition and the threats. I can imagine that this was a difficult time in your life, to say the least.

    • Lanny A. Eichert December 28, 2015 at 6:33 am

      Mary, that’s all you got is imagination, since your god idea has no relationship to reality. Read the Bible, every spelt word.

  • Lanny A. Eichert December 31, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Significance varies depending in which group you are found. The smaller the group the greater is the individual’s significance. The greater the group the lesser is the individual’s significance. If you are among the “many” in the broad way on your way to Hell/Lake of Fire, you are insignificant. If you are God’s elect believers in the narrow way you are most significant. God’s elect believers are those who have been converted and born again the Fundamental Bible way. Only “fundies” are significant before God. Everybody else is nothing more than contrasting fillers to be eventually discarded as trash thrown into the fire. What will you be?

    Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. {Matthew 7: 13 & 14}

    Remember, just because you claim to be a Christian doesn’t mean you are one. See Matthew 7: 21 – 23}
    Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

    Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. {John 3: 7}

    • Alice Spicer January 7, 2016 at 6:45 pm

      You should read the book, Lanny. I think you would like it. You might actually approve of it, although it doesn’t talk about Hell/Lake of Fire much that I recall. Maybe it’s in there somewhere. It’s been a long time since I read it.

  • Lanny A. Eichert January 6, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    A prominent Boston doctor and Harvard Medical School professor says a prestigious hospital canned him because he refused to endorse the LGBT lifestyle, which he believes is dangerous and unhealthy.

    Dr. Paul Church clashed with officials at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for years over the issue, bitterly opposing the hospital’s policy of promoting such events as Gay Pride Week and “LGBT Achievement” awards ceremonies. The hospital’s stance ignored overwhelming evidence that practices common in the LGBT increase the risk of disease and mental illness, according to Church, a Cornell-trained urologist who worked at the hospital for 28 years.

    “They chose a social agenda that they wanted to promote,” said Church, who likened a hospital holding a gay pride event to the same institution organizing an event to promote cigarette smoking.

    (Church practiced medicine at the prestigious Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for 28 years. (BIDMC))

    Church, 66, appeared to run out of options last month when the hospital’s 25-member medical executive committee voted to expel him.

    The hospital said in a statement to FoxNews.com that Church’s behavior was “inconsistent with BIDMC’s established standards of professional conduct.”

    By Edmund DeMarche Published January 05, 2016 FoxNews.com

    Dear reader, I call your attention to Dr. Paul Church’s claim: The hospital’s stance ignored overwhelming evidence that practices common in the LGBT increase the risk of disease and mental illness, according to Church, a Cornell-trained urologist who worked at the hospital for 28 years.

    Homosexual conduct is dirty and for that reason ***Violent, threatening language removed by admin.***

    • Lanny A. Eichert January 6, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      Oh yes, they’ve achieved Significance alright for spawning AIDS. Wake up, America, and outlaw the LGBT lifestyle.

    • Alice Spicer January 7, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      This is a trolling comment. What does this have to do with the blog post? Nothing at all.

      • Lanny A. Eichert January 8, 2016 at 11:47 am

        Oh yes, they’ve achieved Significance alright for spawning AIDS. Wake up, Alice. Lanny A. Eichert January 6, 2016 at 3:02 pm. Haven’t you read articles on Huffington Post’s Gay Voices section? Get read up, dear girl.

      • lanny A. Eichert January 15, 2016 at 10:23 pm

        Alice, Homosexual conduct is dirty and for that reason ***Violent, threatening language removed by admin.***
        Homosexual conduct is dirty and for that reason, like any disease they need to be eradicated by societal demand and governmental action. Simply put that means exterminate them like rats that caused the plague in Europe.

    • Lanny A. Eichert January 15, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      NEW YORK (Associated Press 16Jan2016) – Anglican leaders on Thursday temporarily restricted the role of the U.S. Episcopal Church in their global fellowship as a sanction over the American church’s acceptance of gay marriage.

      Episcopalians have been barred for three years from any policy-setting positions in the Anglican Communion while a task force is formed that will try to reconcile conflicting views over sexuality in the 85-million-member family of churches. The Episcopal Church is the Anglican body in the United States.

      The announcement came near the end of a weeklong meeting in Canterbury, England, called by Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, to heal rifts over same-sex relationships and keep the Anglican Communion from splitting apart. Welby, the Anglican spiritual leader, does not have the authority to force a compromise. He set a news conference Friday in Canterbury to explain the leaders’ decision.

      Episcopal Presiding Bishop Michael Curry, who attended the meeting, told the other leaders their vote “will bring real pain” to gays and lesbians ….

      ***Violent, threatening language removed by admin.***

      • Lanny A. Eichert January 17, 2016 at 12:00 am

        Alice, reread it again. I’m calling for the GOVERNMENTAL EXTERMINATION OF LGBTQ’s. I’m not being violent, what do you want — gas them painlessly? Too costly. I’ve got a cheap way of dispensing death to them.

        Sure, I wish the pain were real enough to kill them. What a lame-brain-claim. Nobody cares about the “real pain” the LGBTQ community brings upon me. Dr. Paul Church knows they are disease carriers and are all suffering mental illness. The Q states it, being queer, they’re all insane (and diseased) and if not scheduled for execution, they all should be confine to insane asylums. Like the USA could afford that: so rather than confine them, eradicate them by firing squad or better yet bash them over the head with a big wooden mallet to save the bullets.

        ***Consistently reposting violent, hateful comments that were already removed… enough is enough. Thanks for reading and commenting for the past four + years. You found the one thing that could get you banned from the comment section, and did it over and over and over again, despite my requests for some human decency. You’re still welcome to read, of course. Maybe in a year or so you can shoot me an email, promise to show a little bit more respect, and ask me to remove your IP address the blocked IP list.***

      • Alice Spicer January 19, 2016 at 4:37 pm

        Yes, I can see how you say that it is “Biblically justified,” in the same way that I see radical Islamic terrorists using the Koran to justify their views. A holy book (or anything called “holy,” for that matter) can be used as a tool to accomplish life-giving, loving purposes or as a weapon to impose fear and death, depending on the heart of the one who wields it.

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