Some people think Facebook is a stage, and we are merely players. Many people on Facebook seem to have exciting, happy lives with little or no troubles. They are accomplishing their goals and achieving their dreams. There’s nothing wrong with being grateful for these things and wanting to share them with others, but it’s only half the story.
A few weeks ago, I was busy cleaning my house and thinking deeply about some pretty major drama in my life. I was crying and dusting, wiping tears and snot with the back of my hand as I worked. I felt the dust smearing on my face. I saw the streaks of black mascara on my hand. It didn’t matter. I would be showering when I was done. I did dishes and swept the balcony. I forgot all about my messed up face.
There was a new full length mirror in my bedroom, purchased and placed just the day before, so I wasn’t used to it being there. When I walked into the bedroom, I startled myself. Who was this aging lady in my house with smeared makeup and dust settled into every groove and wrinkle? Why did she look so sad? I was so struck by her… by my appearance, I took a selfie.
Then I had to chuckle at the idea of posting this selfie on Facebook. What would people say? Would they think I lost my mind? Would they look down on me as someone desperate for attention and pity? I put some music on to cheer myself up, and danced around a little while I worked. Before long, the dark clouds dissipated, and the sun shone in my heart once again.
Later, I was scrolling through images on my phone, and once again, that sad aging lady took me by surprise. I decided to paint her, as a way of accepting the fact that no one, including me, is as happy as they appear to be on Facebook. I painted to embrace what’s left of my femininity and vulnerability, my forty-six years and the drama in this season of my life. I painted to accept the sorrow of life along with the joy, creating a more complete and accurate picture of who I am — not just a blessed and happy daughter, mother, Nana, sister, friend, writer, video editor, and Rodan and Fields consultant who goes to reggae festivals and theme parks, who hikes through majestic mountains with her well-behaved, sweet dog, and enjoys good food and good company — but someone real who has seen better days, who could be a better friend, who doesn’t know how to mind her own business, says things that are better left unsaid, makes mistakes, fails, and loses her $#*& sometimes.
I thank God every day that there will come a day when He will wipe away all tears and make all things new. As (or if) you celebrate Easter today, give thanks to Jesus Christ for giving every single soul on earth a hope that can’t and won’t be disappointed.