Thwarting the Impending Sock Domination

Thwarting the Impending Sock Domination

Friday Fears (Guest Blogger: Ian Dean)



A friend of mine, through unverified sources, believes that socks, especially the patterned ones, have an agenda of world domination.  In his one-man crusade against them, he has devised a plan to make sure their devious plot never comes to fruition:

1. Never, ever match patterned socks, as this will give them the opportunity to procreate.

2. Store them in a dark drawer, as they communicate by pattern.

Remember that they already outnumber you two to one, so we have to strike them at the source!

  • Mary Vanderplas March 1, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    Your cautionary words assume that a world dominated by patterned socks would be a bad thing. But would it, really? Never again would anyone be hindered from pursuing a chosen course of action by having cold feet. Never again would anyone have to endure the indignity of having his or her gnarled toes exposed (and bear the social rejection that almost certainly would ensue). Never again would anyone have to embark on a futile quest for the perennially lost (in the dryer) sock. No, I don’t see sock domination, even the rule of patterned socks, as a fearsome thing. Quite the contrary, it holds great potential for uniting people of every stripe in the cause of eliminating socksism.

    • admin March 1, 2013 at 9:38 pm

      Mary’s in league with the enemy! Off with her head!

      • Mary Vanderplas March 2, 2013 at 5:32 am

        It will take more than an idle threat of violent action by the website moderator to keep me from standing for what is right.

      • Stephen Helbig March 2, 2013 at 10:37 am

        Mary, I like the coined (“Neologism”) Νεολεξία of your word ~ “socksism”
        ~ “sock discrimination”
        ~ “discrimination against women or men because of their socks”

        The joy of Socks can be found in the uniqueness and selection …knee socks, tights, dress socks, tube socks, crew and ankle socks, socks ranging from wild to mild, bold to basic, ect., ect.; I’m now looking at socks in a new light, Each style is handpicked and fun for your feet. Oh ~ The joy of new socks 🙂

        p.s. ~ Yes I agree Mary ~ “A great potential for uniting people”.
        Please remember ~ a sock is usually worn on our feet and the scripture that comes to mind is, “And have your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace”

        p.s.s. ~ An interesting bit of knowledge ~ Did you know, that by the 5th century AD, socks called “puttees” were worn by holy people in Europe to symbolise purity and By 1000 AD, socks became a symbol of wealth among the nobility.

        • admin March 3, 2013 at 9:41 pm

          Stephen, regarding your p.s.s., where on earth do you hear of these obscure facts? LOL

  • Patrick Strickland March 4, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    The socks have secretly been amassing a massive army!! Think people… all the socks that have slunk off and disappeared from our dryers, they have sneaked out and have joined all of their buddies in the sock liberation terrorist training camps that are hidden throughout the world. Only to be joined by the unmatched mates we have thrown out. Soon the end of the world is coming and they are going to rise up in their billions and we shall rue the day. Mark my words this terrible day is coming, the socks are coming and they are bent on world domination.

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