How? Be careful with your anger. Don’t use your anger to justify retaliation. Recognize that people often mistreat others when they, themselves are hurting or experiencing tremendous emotional pressure. Don’t obsess over your own rights. Be willing to give up, give in, or lose, if God requires it of you.
Don’t use your word like daggers. Words have the potential to give death or give life.
The Hebrew word for blessing is b’rachot or berachah. In the first century, the meaning of blessing God, someone, or something was, first, “that God’s people should identify themselves with what God is doing to bring more of the presence and nature of God into their lives” (see 2 Peter 1:4), and second, “that the things God creates are not completely finished being created until they are dedicated to the purpose for which God created them. With the b’rachot people partner with God in completing parts of creation by agreeing to the purpose God intends…”
3. Do good.
Do what is right, even if no one notices or cares or appreciates the fact that your behavior is commendable. Be honest in your actions, even if being dishonest is (seemingly) to your advantage. Do the honorable thing, especially to/for those who don’t do the same for you. Do your best to accomplish things that will benefit others. Give other people an opportunity be the center of attention.
Expect that God will, in His own time and in His own way, transform people who are hard to love into people who are easy to love. Perhaps the person you are praying for is not a praying person. Pray on his/her behalf. What is his/her greatest source of stress? What is causes him/her to fear? What are some of the challenges he/she faces? What does he/she want or need most? Is he/she facing any difficult decisions? Pray for him/her with the same passion and urgency that you would for your parent or child or friend.
This isn’t a magic to-do list that will instantly cause you to be surrounded only with people who you find agreeable or likable. One reason that God has intentionally placed that person who makes you ball up your fists and grit your teeth into your life could be so that you can learn how to become who God created you to be, to see others as God sees them, and to learn how to transcend the ugly stuff: fits of rage, harsh language/tone, grudge-holding, back-biting gossip, bad intent, cynicism, resentment, etc. Another reason could be that God is using you to help people who desperately need someone who will love, bless, do good, and pray for them. Or maybe it’s a little bit of both reasons.
“Love your enemies, bless those cursing you, do good to those hating you, and pray for those accusing you falsely, and persecuting you…” Matthew 5:44
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.” – Abraham Lincoln