5 Responses to People Who Piss You Off

5 Responses to People Who Piss You Off

1. Love.

How?  Be careful with your anger.  Don’t use your anger to justify retaliation.  Recognize that people often mistreat others when they, themselves are hurting or experiencing tremendous emotional pressure.  Don’t obsess over your own rights.  Be willing to give up, give in, or lose, if God requires it of you.

2. Bless.

Don’t use your word like daggers.  Words have the potential to give death or give life.

The Hebrew word for blessing is b’rachot or berachah.  In the first century, the meaning of blessing God, someone, or something was, first, “that God’s people should identify themselves with what God is doing to bring more of the presence and nature of God into their lives” (see 2 Peter 1:4), and second, “that the things God creates are not completely finished being created until they are dedicated to the purpose for which God created them.  With the b’rachot people partner with God in completing parts of creation by agreeing to the purpose God intends…”

(from http://penei.org/concepts-blessing.shtml).

3. Do good.

Do what is right, even if no one notices or cares or appreciates the fact that your behavior is commendable.  Be honest in your actions, even if being dishonest is (seemingly) to your advantage.  Do the honorable thing, especially to/for those who don’t do the same for you.  Do your best to accomplish things that will benefit others.  Give other people an opportunity be the center of attention.

4. Pray.

Expect that God will, in His own time and in His own way, transform people who are hard to love into people who are easy to love.  Perhaps the person you are praying for is not a praying person.  Pray on his/her behalf.  What is his/her greatest source of stress?  What is causes him/her to fear?  What are some of the challenges he/she faces?  What does he/she want or need most?  Is he/she facing any difficult decisions?  Pray for him/her with the same passion and urgency that you would for your parent or child or friend.

5. Repeat.

This isn’t a magic to-do list that will instantly cause you to be surrounded only with people who you find agreeable or likable.  One reason that God has intentionally placed that person who makes you ball up your fists and grit your teeth into your life could be so that you can learn how to become who God created you to be, to see others as God sees them, and to learn how to transcend the ugly stuff: fits of rage, harsh language/tone, grudge-holding, back-biting gossip, bad intent, cynicism, resentment, etc.  Another reason could be that God is using you to help people who desperately need someone who will love, bless, do good, and pray for them.  Or maybe it’s a little bit of both reasons.

Love your enemies, bless those cursing you, do good to those hating you, and pray for those accusing you falsely, and persecuting you…” Matthew 5:44

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.” – Abraham Lincoln


  • Lanny A. Eichert May 15, 2013 at 3:39 am

    #5 how to become: By facing the fact that there will always be the ungodly and the sinner to appear in the eternal Lake of Fire. Always >90% of the human population.

    For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? {1 Peter 4: 17 & 18}

    Peter KNEW there would always be “them that obey not the gospel of God.”
    Peter knew there’s us and them forever: saved and lost FINALITY.

  • Mary Vanderplas May 15, 2013 at 6:23 am

    I like what you say about responding to the aggressor not in terms of our own rights but in terms of what s/he needs and what will benefit her/him – taking positive action in the interest of the person. What you say about the power of words to give death or life and the act of blessing others as participation with God in completing his creation is profound and beautiful. I like, too, what you say about praying for the offending other. In my experience, when I have practiced this (not nearly often enough, I’ll admit), the result has been a change in me – a softer heart toward the other, a greater capacity to will and act for the good of the other – which is, perhaps, as much the purpose of praying for the enemy as having God act directly to help and deliver the person in the ways that s/he needs. I agree with what you say about God using difficult people to transform our character as well as using us as agents of his unconditional and reconciling (Romans 5:8) love.

    Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to live as Christ calls us to live.

    • admin May 15, 2013 at 7:40 am

      That softening of the heart toward the other – that’s so true.

      • Stephen Helbig May 16, 2013 at 2:56 pm

        “LOVE your enemies, BLESS those cursing you, DO GOOD to those hating you, and PRAY for those accusing you falsely, and persecuting you…” (Matthew 5:44) ~ This one precept is all the sufficient proof of All the holiness of the Gospel, and All the truth of the true church and Christian religion. Every other false religion flatters man, and accommodates itself to his pride and his passions. None but our Heavenly Father and His Great Agape Love could have imposed a yoke so easy and contrary to our “self-love”. Nothing but Supreme Eternal Love of ourFather God can enable mankind to practice a precept so insupportable to the corrupt nature and carnal minds. May His Love Abound in us ALL.

        p.s. ~ The best commentary on these matchless counsels is the bright example of Him who gave them. (See 1Pe 2:21-25; and compare Ro 12:20, 21; 1Co 4:12; 1Pe 3:9).

        p.s.s. ~ Alice, as Mary has graciously stated above ~ “THANKS (again) ~ For the reminder and encouragement to live as Christ calls us to live.

  • Lanny A. Eichert May 16, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    #2 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. {2 Peter 1:4}

    WHO is the us and ye who have escaped the corruption?

    The promises and the partakership belongs ONLY to them and nobody else; plus the same are available to them only in THIS mortal life to prepare them for the next.

    BTW to say “to bring more of” is totally improper, because God’s infiltration into a life is not in bits and pieces but rather in totality. When God comes in, all of Him comes in; You can’t get just part of God. John 3: 34 for God giveth not the Spirit by measure

  • Lanny A. Eichert May 19, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    Alice, what does it mean the things God creates are not completely finished being created until they are dedicated to the purpose for which God created them?

    What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction {Romans 9: 22}

    Does that mean those vessels are not completely created until He destroys them?

    • admin May 20, 2013 at 11:04 am

      “Does that mean those vessels are not completely created until He destroys them?” Precisely.

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